He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
