so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize