Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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