i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents