There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.