apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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