meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
