The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
