My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
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