Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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