What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
