New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
