all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
