Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
