do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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