East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
