I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
