Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
