I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
