I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
