If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
