that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
