Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
