It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
