He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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