Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
