just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
