Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
