it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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