why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize