Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I don't think brook has ever known best
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
And then my night got REAL pukey
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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