4 words: hood of his car
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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