I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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