babies were throwing up all over the place
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.