My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake