Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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