just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
