HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
