I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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