That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
