You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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