But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
