I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
