good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
