Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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