Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
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Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
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He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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