susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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