walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
