Barsexuality is the new black.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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