Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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