giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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