you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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