How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize