I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
