You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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