I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
