honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
