so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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