i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she told me i tasted like america
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
