I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
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Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
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Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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